It seems in the devil's land people are put on trial many times. Warren is now in court again but his attorneys (devil men and women) are in charge now. The time has come brethren to move leadership in a different direction - a more Stalliony direction. We know that Joseph Smith got a good deal in Heaven and probably a planet or two because he got killed in prison and therefore somehow martyred. Now fellas, planets are like wives - there are only so many to go around. We really don't want Warren getting 4 or 5 planets while we all have to share one and be apostles or something on one of his planets (I am working on a deal with HEAVENLY FATHER to be a Jesus one day and I don't want that messed up by Warren.
Basically Elders we need a new leader soon before Warren gets killed in jail. I am fairly certain that if you are not the active leader the martyrship is not 100%, so brethren if you all want your own planet consider praying me into the leadership spot.
Tomorrow night we will have a campaign/prayer meeting at my compound. Ehpraimina is baking cookies.
I want my own planet and a REALLY FAST plane.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you must join the FLDS - you need at least 3 wives to do that. Some people come in with fake wives (mannequins, animals dressed as people). You might be able to squeak in like that but for the plane the wives should be real if possible.
ReplyDeleteI have just the one wife. Let's make a deal. How about my own continent?
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