Brethren: I have a weighty matter on my mind. My chief wife has been humbly suggesting that I apply for a new job (I know brethren, I shouldn't let her act up like that but she has a few pounds on me). The problem is the want ad read: "prophet, large (5000+) church, must speak regularly with HEAVENLY FATHER, must also be down with... things" I'm pretty sure that's Warren's old job. Well I gave HEAVENLY FATHER a call and after I told him about it he said, "You should pray on it Ephraim."
so I said "can I just leave you a voicemail?"
and he said ok but that he didn't always get his messages right away and it might be tomorrow before he got back to me. Now when HEAVENLY FATHER says tomorrow he usually means in a thousand years, am I right guys? So I just asked him really quick if I should be the new prophet and he said "sure, why not."
So then I asked him about being a Jesus one day and he said the call was breaking up but to put it in the voice mail.
So brethren, I am officially throwing my hat in the ring as Warren's replacement. I believe my chief qualification is that I like em a little older and won't get us into much trouble. I appreciate your support.
If you become the new Jesus can do something about the gas prices? Oil should be a lot cheaper than it is, since it's mostly made from dead stuff.
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