A priesthood ad on Craig's List

Not a bad idea, using the devil's list to do HEAVENLY FATHER's pimping work.

your servant

I will be blogging HEAVENLY FATHER's comments during the trial.  I think the Jessop boy is doing the twitter, I haven't figured that one out yet.

Never mess with famine or war, they are not worth the time.

Apparently when cursing human beings to their inevitable end in one of the four completely unavoidable global catastrophes, one should stick to sickness and death.

A long line at the grocery

HEAVENLY FATHER tells us that Prophet Jeffs would give him a call to see what curse to bestow on the grocery chain.

How to handle resentment

Today I awoke with a resentment for one of my mothers-in-law.  I wrote a mean letter and tore it up.

Let me ask HEAVENLY FATHER what Prophet Warren would have done.

It turns out I should have declared my father-in-law unfit and had her reassigned to a very abusive person.  Who'd have guessed it.